Finally after months of waiting and agonising its all over.
They may have taken joy in taking my world apart like taking bricks out of a wall, but I have taken pride in building it back up from scratch, and this time no-one will bring it down.
I realise I'm a better person for this whole "life re-building" and I'm glad that something positive could come of something so negative.

If ever life could get any worse then its now, its right now. Everything I ever worked for has gone people have taken great joy in destorying it piece by piece its been taken away from me.
I just dont know why people cant ust leave me and my life alone, I'll do what I like and they can fuck themselves, I don't wanna talk to them ever again unless its to whisper "Your gonna die bitch" or to shout "Fuck you" I just dont want this anymore I just cant take it.

The funniest thing happened today, for weeks and months of denying the fact that I am completely and utterly emotionally attatched to Chris I finally admitted it to myself, hes off to uni in September which if I did decide anything was going to happen then that fact would make it difficult.
But we had a little chat today and he basically came out with "I love you" and instead of my usual response "grr" I just felt warm and fuzzy which I must admit shocked me to the core.I don't know whyI refer to him as my ex, maybe thats because it maks it easier to cope with the fact I ...well I won't go into it.
Yes we did date but...n/m
We engaged in ALOT of flirting, which I have to admit I wanted him so bad tonight, it was almost hell knowing I couldn't quite have him, any how I'd better go figure out what I'm going to say to him to explain how I feel...

My ex (chris) was talking to me on messenger today, and its like he thinks we're still together he thinks hes failed his exams and when I said I was a bit busy he said "But I just want you to be here for me." I just don't know what the hells going on any more, I thought I made it clear that I didn't want an "us" anymore but obviously I was wrong, He was saying shit like "oh baby. my heart beats more for you." I just don't know where I am any more.

Andy, the single most inportant person in my life isn't even acknowledging that I exist, even when we split up after 7 weeks which was my fault I still held a place for him and him for me, now I've driven him away.I need him, hes the one person who keeps me going, the one person who accepts me for who I am .

My exboyfriend has just got back off holiday, he texted me about meeting up sometime, I don't thinkits a good idea, I'm with someone new now, I need to know how he feels though, you don't just throw months of your life away on someone without wondering if ending it was the right thing to do, I don't know what to do, so I invited him to my house tomorrow, I don't know if it was a good idea or not but I need to talk to him about everything.
I need to make it clear that I'm with someone else and however much I might doubt my relationship , I'm not ging to back out of it just because I think there might be a chance things would be better with my ex. I was the one that finished "us" basically to do with his age hes 4 years older than me, and I just felt like we weren't going anywhere and that we should stop, I need closure, which is why I agreed to meet up.

I may not be the easiest person to approach but hey I'm still human, Don't talk shit about me unless your going to say it to my face ok?
Damn friends I don't need them they only cause hurt and heartache .